Product Review: Meep! Tablet

Two words: Epic Fail

Nutshell version: the Meep! tablet by Oregon Scientific is an unmitigated piece of crap.

A better option would be buying some off-brand tablet you’ve never heard of, running an older version of Android on an outdated processor, on sale from some outlet online. Really, you’ll be happier.

Or let them play Tetris on your old flip phone you haven’t yet recycled. It’ll keep them just as occupied.

A brief rundown:

• Battery life: none. My old, dead 3rd gen iPod has more battery life.
• Parental controls: none. Registration portal is unreachable most of the time, and when it is, it’s non-functional.
• Apps: basic, pre-installed, freebie games. You can enable the Google Play App Store—if you could register the unit on the Parental Portal (see above). Most of the other features—like text chat—are also hobbled until you can enable it.
• Customer Support: none. Their customer support phone number, like their parent portal, is also unreachable. If you do manage to get through, expect to be disconnected while waiting for someone to pick up.
• Screen: soft plastic. If you’re old enough to remember Space Fidgets [https://www.google.com/search?q=space+fidget+toy], those liquid crystal-filled disks that changed colors when you ran your finger over the back, you’ll recognize the color distortion around your finger as you jab it into the unresponsive screen. If you drag your finger around it leaves trails. The laptop I’m writing this on has a more rigid screen. (And in case no one told you, never poke your LCD screen.)

Opening the box, following the Quick Start guide, the first step is setting up Wi-Fi. That’s a no-brainer—no issues.

Step 2, according to the instructions, is connecting to their Parental Portal. But first, you need to perform two system updates. That it requires system updates right out of the box is (almost) to be expected—most computers do. But you can’t do anything with it apart from playing the pre-installed games until you do. Did I mention we purchased this as an Xmas present? Because that’s what every kid who’s just opened presents wants to do—wait for updates to install.

It doesn’t come with any games you can’t find (near equivalents of) in the App Store. Considering its biggest selling point is complete parental control of content, some might consider it odd three of the games intended for school-aged children involve shooting, and one blowing things up.

Most of the features are hobbled, until you can register a parental account through their portal. Only you can’t register through their portal, because it’s non-functional—even when it’s reachable. (And for two days now it has been consistently unreachable.) The portal doesn’t work with most browsers, including—get this—the tablet itself! That’s right, their tablet can’t access its own portal.

They claim this is by design. (I did get a reply to my initial irate e-mail.) They say this is to keep the kids from accessing the parental controls. Because any kid who could get past the password wouldn’t be able to get onto their parent’s computer, right? Or their iPad. Because they have an Apple iOS app for parental control—of their Android tablet. (No, they’ve yet to develop an Android app to control their custom Android interface.)

They do not explain why they only let Google Chrome or Apple Safari access their site. They claim it’s because their site uses HTML5 (ooh, you mean like most other modern websites?), and doesn’t function (well) with “some older browsers.” Instead of letting the user be responsible for their own experience, or simply upgrading their Internet Explorer or Firefox, the browser check on the front page won’t let any other browsers in. The three HTML5-compatible browsers I have on my phone didn’t work.

Oh, but that’s assuming you can get onto their site. In their reply they claim their site is “undergoing some maintenance.” During Xmas. No, it’s not completely overloaded by every parent who bought one trying to register it at the same time. They decided to bring their developers in, over a holiday, when a bunch of kids might all be opening them at the same time, to do “maintenance.” Right.

So when you do get onto the site, you watch the little video that shows you all of the things you’re about to do. Then, assuming you don’t want to see it every time you visit, you check the box that says, “Don’t show this again.” And that disables the login screen on the following page. What the check box should say is, “Don’t show me this, or any other of that other fancy-pants HTML5 code, including the login screen, again. Ever.” So you go get another computer and try again. You go to create a new account and enter the serial number and... that’s it. The portal doesn’t go any further. The buttons do nothing. Must be that “maintenance.”

I put the thing down around 1 AM with what looked like ⅔ of battery left. The next morning it was dead. We plugged it in to charge overnight. I unplugged it at 8 AM, set up Wi-Fi again, then turned the screen off and set it down. By lunch time we picked it up again, and it was dead again. Seriously. It was off and it didn’t last 5 hours.

I won’t take (too much) issue with the forward-facing camera, as most other child-oriented tablets don’t have a rear-facing camera, so, y’know, the kid can actually take pictures with it. Except the camera quality is crap, too. In anything other than bright sunlight the pictures are too dark, and they’re extremely jagged and pixelated. The camera in your old flip phone has better resolution.

I’ve convinced my kid to give it up so he can get a better one (a feat in itself). This is going back in the box and back to the store.

McCain thinks he deserves health care but you don't

stop by and tell your representatives how you feel

clipped from www.americansunitedforchange.org

Get around to celebrating National Procrastination Week

I heard about it this morning, and am just now getting around to posting it, so while you've got a day or two left, you might as well make the most of waiting 'til the last minute.

Because I know you were waiting almost all week to have a reason to put off everything you have to do.

(via Lifehacker) [http://www.brownielocks.com/march.html]

Springtime for Winter (and Canada)

You know that part of The Producers (and I'm referencing the original, Zero Mostel, Gene Wilder version) when the opening sequence of "Springtime for Hitler" starts? And the audience sits there, staring, slackjawed, as the parade of grotesque stereotypes of German "culture" are paraded past?

Well, that was my impression of the Olympic closing ceremonies.

They're not called, "Friendly, Snuggly Whales"

Click here for untitled

Just what part of "killer" in "killer whale" do people fail to grasp?

Yes, other cultures call them things like "orcas," but someone at some point thought of calling them, not "spotted whales," not "cow whales," "Oreo whales" or even "penguin whales," but saw sufficient reason to give them the name, "killer."

I just heard that this is the third time this particular whale was involved in a human death.

Now, I would not advocate that any particular intelligent mammal's life is more sacred than any other, nor would I necessarily mock the death of an intelligent mammal (or its trainer), but at some point you have to recognize the natural order of things.

Roy Horn and I both have cats in our homes. The difference is, I'm not terribly worried if mine is having a bad day. Something with sharp teeth doesn't have to be much bigger than a cat for me to keep my distance. Bigger than me with sharp teeth? I'm staying over here.

Some people believe they've got a sacred book that gives them dominion over all life on this planet. Most of the other life on this planet hasn't read that book--they're watching YouTube clips of "When Animals Attack."

Best. Gay Marriage. Quote. Evar.

"One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day,
but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!"

Groucho Marx in Animal Crackers

Oh, the Terror(ism)!

What follows is a reply to another blog post here. This reply was posted in the comments.
----------

Should we argue semantics? Get all hung up on the "true" meanings of words? Yes. It's why we have them.

It's why Charles Manson was a mass-murderer. Son of Sam a serial killer. Why guys who get tired of delivering the mail "go postal."

We have so many words to describe things, you really need to look at why.

There are definitely double standards, which I think was the point of this post.

When the Ft. Hood shootings happened, when it became public knowledge that the shooter's last name was Hassan, immediately the media was filled with "was this an act of terrorism?" His shouting, "glory to god" (I believe the translation of Allah Akbar) didn't help matters.

Did anyone call the VA Tech shooter a terrorist? He wasn't white. I'm pretty sure he wasn't born here, either.

There have been other school shootings, since Columbine, and since 9-11 - they are sadly almost cliche. How many of them were labeled "terrorism?"

I'll also point out that when that small private plane crashed into an apartment building in Manhattan (it killed a baseball player - I'm too lazy to look up details), "terrorism" was the initial, unqualified, panicked response, as people there are still a bit edgy about planes flying into buildings. (turned out someone just fucked up)

People who protested the last presidential administration were labeled "terrorists," or at the very least terrorist sympathizers. What terror did they instill - in anyone other than elected officials?

The riots in LA after the Rodney King verdict - terrorism? Or rioting?

We have violence. We have crime. We have violent crime. We also, now, have legally defined "hate crimes." Beating up someone for being gay - terrorism? I know for a fact a lot of homosexuals who might otherwise come out to their communities don't for fear of physical assault, among other things. They live in constant fear.

All bigots are terrorists? The KKK certainly did a lot to instill fear in black communities. There are, sadly, very many white-supremacist groups. They are organized. They have a political and social agenda. They use violence and fear of more violence to convey their message. Perhaps their time has come to be labeled appropriately?

Violence directed (rightly or no) against a government office - terrorism? With what message? "We're going to resist paying more taxes!" or was it, "I'm destroying everything and I'm taking you with me!"

At risk of going off on a tangent, do I think taxes are fair? The way they're currently levied, no. The tax burden is ridiculously upside down in this country. But I do believe in taxation. We all live in a community, a society, and derive a benefit from that, and we all need to contribute to that to make it work for all of us. I like roads. I like schools. I like police and fire departments. I believe those who derive the largest benefit should contribute the largest amount. That would be the corporations that have judicial and legislative systems that create and enforce laws for their benefit.

The clerk, who wanted a secure job with a pension, checking to see if your returns were filled out properly, is not evil incarnate (typically) and does not deserve to be murdered.

If you attend an organized protest of the wars in Afghanistan, you can, under the PATRIOT act, be grabbed up off the street, held as an "enemy combatant," without bail, without advice of an attorney, subjected to "enhanced interrogation" such as water boarding, even though you're a US citizen, all without being charged with anything other than being a suspected "terrorist."

A guy flying a plane into an IRS building in a fit of destructive, violent, homicidal rage? I wouldn't be too quick to apply the term "terrorist" to him. Throwing labels around like that and some of them might bounce back and stick.

Walmart's raping of the disadvantaged continues

For those of you who haven't seen the TV ads yet (which curiously show a nebulously interracial couple), Walmart is getting into the check cashing business.

Don't have check cashing establishments around your home? You probably live in an area that's doing OK. They're a staple of neighborhoods that aren't doing so well, financially, along with stores that sell liquor, menthol cigarettes and cheap comestibles barely deserving the term "food."

If you have a check that's made out to you, say, your paycheck, they'll cash it--for a fee. Seems reasonable enough. Walmart offers a "discount" service of "only" $3 for a check up to $1000; $6 for checks up to $5000.

But why would you need to cash it? Why couldn't you just deposit it into your bank account? Banks cash checks for free--assuming you've got cash in your account to cover it. Assuming you've got a bank account.

It's yet another instance of being charged a fee for not having enough money.

Most banks expect a minimum deposit--they charge fees if you fall below the minimum. If those fees are higher than the $3/check, or up to $12/month (or more) Walmart is charging, then saving money means, well, not saving your money.

Not that saving your money is Walmart's aim--the ad shows you all the things you can buy, like mp3 players and computers, presumingly from them, with the "up to $200 per year" you could "save."

And who are these people, the ones who cannot afford to stockpile even one paycheck in a bank? I was one of them. Not for financial reasons, though--I didn't have any ID--I couldn't prove, to the satisfaction of a bank, who I was. Curiously, the rules at the check cashing stores were different. Mediocre, even questionable identification was sufficient to turn a check into cash, but insufficient for saving it in your own name.

These are also Walmart's own employees, most of whom are part-time, at their management's preference.

Assuming a biweekly paycheck at double minimum wage, full-time, after taxes you're still likely to come in under the $1,000 check to meet the $3 price. To restate that, after two weeks of full-time work, you're taking home less than $1000, which is a crime in itself. After 26 paychecks, throw in your tax refund check and you're paying $85. If you work for Walmart, that's paying your money back to your employer for the privilege of them paying you.

That's assuming you don't get an employee discount.

Father/Son Valentines are just Icky

OK, first, let's dispense with the tired stereotype of the absent-minded, romantically clueless male, running to the card shop at the last minute to load up on armfulls of roses and chocolates and find that perfect paper sentiment that expresses his undying love in a way he never could. Or diamonds, when he comes to understand that isn't enough. Shall we? There were two other people buying cards with me today, and neither of them were male.

I'd rather not buy into the whole, "if you love me, you'll cut down those living flowers so I can watch them die in front of me, then I want you to exploit children and poor people at the behest of an African warlord so I can have a rare, shiny rock, and make sure you purchase someone else's measured sentiments from the industry responsible for making you feel worthless for not participating," thing.

The chocolates are tasty, though.

I have memories of being in grammar school, and cutting and gluing the same manufactured sentiments for my classmates they were compositing for me. Many of the 3-4-year-olds in my son's class worked on similar sentiments. Admittedly, there's a big, "aww" moment when your preschooler throws his arms out and yells, "happy valentime's [sic] day!"

Call me a purist, but the purpose of the day honoring St. Valentine is to celebrate romantic love. Not, "I love you, man," love. I'm not any more comfortable with my 3-yr-old son expressing romantic feelings for the girls in his preschool than for the boys. It's just not appropriate.

I love my family. I love my son. My wife gets Valentine's Day cards.

Yeah, I know a lot of people use the occasion to express their, shall we say, less romantic feelings for the people close to them. But I'm not eager to meet the father who's expecting the, "Be my Valentine, Dad" card that I saw today from his son.

a parent's worst nightmare

From Australia, but it happens here (US) with frightening regularity

clipped from www.dadsontheair.net Department of Child Stealing a distraught father who has spent the past 13 years desperately trying to have his son returned to his care and protection, following the boys’ removal from his parents’ care on the bases of allegations of abuse and neglect, which were subsequently proven to be false. Again our own investigations show the frightening speed and ease by which your biological children can be removed from your care, by any of these government agencies on the basis of the flimsiest of evidence, unsupported hearsay or vindictive false allegations. the governments’ own reports show that tens of thousands of the nation’s children are removed from one or more of their parents every year with the help of a number of government agencies More questions urgently need to be asked in order to establish the possible underlying causes for such a disturbing high level of government involvement in the child stealing racket that appears to be taking place.

Beaten Census

though technically (barely) legal, it's intentionally deceptive. What's your opinion of intentionally deceptive fund raisers?

Would you give them money, even if you agree in principle, when you know they're disingenuous?

What's your opinion of the people who are intentionally deceptive to get your money? Are they likely to be deceitful in other areas?

clipped from www.politico.com RNC 'census' mailer draws fire Calling itself the “Congressional District Census,” the letter comes in an envelope starkly printed with the words, “DO NOT DESTROY OFFICIAL DOCUMENT” and describes itself, on the outside of the envelope, as a “census document.” Even some who have been involved with the program, however, acknowledged that it walks the line. "Of course, duping people is the point. ... That's one of the reasons why it works so well,” said one Republican operative familiar with the program, who said it’s among the RNC’s most lucrative fundraising initiatives. “They will likely mail millions this year [with] incredible targeting.” the same mailing in 2000, during that year’s census, and Maloney and Clay asked the postmaster general to open an investigation into whether the mailings violate the Deceptive Mail Prevention and Enforcement Act

Blowhard Christian Soldiers

The only "social responsibility" of a Christian is to live, wherever and with whomever he may be, the life of faith, for his own salvation and as an example to others. If, in so doing, we help to ameliorate or abolish a social evil, that is a good thing - but that is not our goal. If we become desperate when our life and our words fail to convert others to the true Kingdom, that comes from lack of faith. If we would live our faith more deeply, we would need to speak of it less.

Bl. Seraphim Rose

From Letters from Father Seraphim, Nikodemos Orthodox Publication Society, Richfield Springs, NY, 2001. A letter to Thomas Merton. (via my friend Huw)

It occurred to me how ironic it was that political candidates were able to garner millions of dollars in contributions, but we can't seem to find the money to help the truly needy. The irony was the candidates who claim to represent "Christian values" with $400 hair cuts.

I was thinking about how one church could raise over $300,000 in collections from its members in order to sponsor legislation that would deny the same rights they enjoy from couples for being of the same gender.

I was thinking about how that same, Christian, enthusiasm could have feed, clothed and housed more than a few people.

I was also questioning how many Christian ideals are being expressed in response to the recent disaster in Haiti.

I then wonder how many who would call themselves Christian are against providing health care to those who cannot afford it. Not only do they not want to see anyone else "enriched" from their, Christian labor, they fear health care in too short supply to risk sharing it with others, lest they not get what is theirs.

I cannot hold fault with Christianity as a faith for the way some choose to practice it. That's the same as hating a football team because of the actions of some of its fans. (Which some seem to have to quarrel with.)

The message I get from Jesus, as portrayed in the Bible, is forgive everyone; love everyone, even your enemies; have compassion for every one and every thing and help everyone when you can. But then I'm not a Biblical scholar. I've not even read the Bible. I still think I have a better understanding of Yeshua of Nazareth's teachings than most who claim to have a personal relationship with him. It makes me think they've not read any more of the book than I have.

man up, or shut up

Carville... didn't he make cakes?

clipped from punkrockhr.com Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities We never have honest discussions as Americans. If we did, we would talk about how the system is rigged. We are fooled into fighting over divisive cultural issues that aren’t all that divisive to anyone under 40, but we are never asked to weigh in on important issues like national security and foreign policy. We can’t get a fair shake and be involved in shaping our own economic destinies because the people in power have us arguing amongst ourselves over a smaller & smaller piece of the economic pie. The change we seek won’t come from Obama, the GOP, or anyone on television who profits from the status quo. The revolution will come from you

Dear Politician: (an open letter you may cut & paste)

Dear Elected Member of the Democratic Party:

I probably voted for you in the past election. Not because I like you, but because the other candidate most likely to win was an option I would not be able to tolerate.

I won't make that mistake again.

I could have voted my conscience, but we both know picking any other candidate would have the same ultimate effect of writing in someone I actually I thought could represent me. I chose, instead, to vote against the one I thought would do the most harm, by casting a ballot for the one whom I believed would do less harm, but would prevent the worst from happening.

It was akin to voting on which finger to get cut off. (Go ahead, pick.)

I usually say, "it's like being told you're getting a vote on getting a sharp stick in the eye, and showing up and finding the choices are 'right' and 'left.'"

But I feel in this case it's finding out they're holding a vote on cutting off one of your fingers, and you'd really like to say, "pinky," because you don't play piano and can count on one hand anyway, but you find the vote is open to a lot of other people, and most of them are voting either "thumb" or "index."

I'm sure they have their reasons for their choices - maybe they dislike the way you point your index finger at them, or the things to which you give your thumbs up, and maybe they all think it's the other fingers that are necessary, for observing marriage, rational discourse and having something you can extend whilst sipping tea - but, damnit, if you had to pick just one of those two, you'd really rather it was one and not the other.

And so you try to influence the decision in whatever small way you can.

I'm a registered Republican. Mostly because whenever I try to talk sense to someone who cannot see reason, and they counter logic with name-calling, staring in with, "you whinny, liberal, socialist..." I can say, "what do you mean? I'm a Republican." I do believe in small, responsible government. I don't like a government that wastes the funds its given, nor violates the trust of protection of its citizens. That is why I cannot vote for most of the candidates in the current Republican Party. They are not interested in a republic, they are fascists.

I believe this country is made up of resources, and for it to remain strong, those resources need to be protected for future generations. One of the country's strongest resources is its people, for a country is nothing if not the people that make it up. They need protecting as well.

That is why we have governments - to protect people from those that would do them harm.

I'm changing my party affiliation to Democrat. Again, not because I like you. So I can make whatever small gesture I can to ensure you, and people like you, represent the real will of the people - more that you have the interests of the people in mind - when you do the job you are being paid to do, or you will find yourself out of a job.

As I said, I cannot vote for those who have corrupted the party of Lincoln and Roosevelt, creating a circus of hatred and anti-intellectualism, all to obscure their giving of the country itself away to corporate greed. To the extent that you continue to work with them, I cannot vote for you, either. I'm changing my affiliation so I can vote against you in the next Democratic primary.

No amount of special interest cash-funded ads will dissuade me that you've sold my interests to them. You may think you're getting more votes by getting their support, but you sure as hell are losing mine.

Right twice a day

My wife is complaining about her new watch - which happens to be my watch. That it was once mine gives her license to speak disparagingly about it.

"This watch is crap." As is everything that is or once was mine, including my new smartphone (on which I'm writing this), one of our cars and our computer. While the computer was financed jointly, as resident geek it is my duty to maintain it. So, even though she has her own login, settings, applications, etc., and even though I can usually use it without issue, when something isn't working as well or as fast as it should, it's crap.

The issue with my... her new watch is the date window. She says the date doesn't advance at midnight like it should.

"Is it advancing at all?" I ask with the voice of an experienced help desk analyst.

"Yes, but it's advancing in the middle of the day, not at midnight."

"So you're saying the date is advancing at noon, not at midnight?"

"Yes."

I had to repeat that at least once more before it started to sink in. I eventually got a "shut up" out of her, as she started to reset the watch.